To observe the effects of all-or-nothing binge mindset in the mind of a barely-recovering disordered eater.
The test subject will gain weight, be miserable about herself, and severely restrict food intake.
Independent variables: amount of food eaten, how sneakily food is eaten, how nutritious food eaten is (eg. sugary desserts as opposed to “healthful” macronutrients such as protein, carbohydrates, and healthy fats), weight of subject at start of experiment
Controlled variables: n/a (does not include amount of control subject has when faced with all-or-nothing binge mindset)
Dependent variables: mood of subject before, during and after experiment, weight of subject after experiment, reaction of subject after experiment
1 test subject (currently recovering from anorexia nervosa, still cursed with all-or-nothing thinking and unstable moods)
food, various amounts (includes: Taiwanese flatbread 燒餅 with salad leaves, sesame dressing, and fried egg; various banchan; some picked-out vegetables from bibimbap shared with “best friend”; bowl of beef broth soup w/ beef, cellophane noodles and rice; various bites at high tea (includes cheesecake, chocolate mousse, sugary rose-water, chocolate truffle, biscuits, curry-rice stuffed cherry tomato, mini fruit tart); half glass of red wine; one FULL bowl of longevity noodles w/ beansprouts and beef; daikon radish soup w/ beef; butter biscuits; chocolate biscuits; pistachio biscotti; lemon cheesecake)
1 “best friend”
1 mother, having her birthday on day of experiment
1) Start subject’s day with a “normal” (ie, calorie-controlled) but slightly indulgent breakfast of Taiwanese flatbread: half of one with lettuce, sesame dressing, and sesame seeds; two bites of one with fried egg; 3/4 of a pear. Make subject feel satisfied with breakfast choice.
2) Transport subject to hip-hop dance class. Make subject have semi-fun with her “best friend”. Transport subject and best friend to Korean restaurant. Order 설렁탕, a beef broth soup that comes with beef on the bone, cellophane noodles, and rice. Fully satisfy the subject with a reasonable lunch involving 1/3 of the rice, most of the cellophane noodles, and most of the beef. Remind subject that they need “hot” protein foods such as beef, and reassure them that they could always eat a light dinner later to balance it out.
3) Remove the “best friend” from the premises. Transport subject to Rose House Tea House, where her mother is having her free birthday high tea. Show subject all the leftover little bits from the high tea (involves cheesecake, shortbread biscuit, chocolate truffle, fruit tart, chocolate mousse). Have subject proceed slowly from “one bite of each” mentality to “to hell with it I’ll finish it all I need to gain weight anyway” mentality.
4) Between lunch and dinner, betray the subject with her stomach. Have her realize that despite the high calorie intake from her earlier indulgence that she is (gasp!) hungry. Have her eat half a chocolate biscuit, yogurt, biscuits, and cheesecake.
5) Proceed to follow snacking with a large dinner. Have subject slowly count up calories of the day. Panick. Scream. Cry. Die. All on the inside.
I’m fucking screwed.
Edit: this post took me two days to write up.
i can say that i actually didn’t gain as much weight as i thought i did on that day.
on monday, the day after bingeday, i weighed myself and i was 3 lbs heavier.
today, tuesday, i weighed myself and my weight has gone back down.
so i don’t know.
how the hell am i SUPPOSED to?
also became really upset today.
more on that later.