are you asking me out?
yeah in a way i am
w. t. F?!
is this the result
of being nice?
so okay, recently in the past few days
i’ve been “getting to know”
a boy in my biology class
as in, i’ve been chatting to him
and being nice
and i felt like i was just being nice.
i was trying to be interesting
and finding things to talk about
so that i wouldn’t seem awkward
we worked together in a rather fun lab
(with the friend
mentioned in my previous post)
and i talked to him
and it was pretty fun
and i found him to be a somewhat
but… i don’t like him, in that way.
i think i only talked to him because
he bothered to talk to me
and because he was nice.
and so, i gave him my email
for him to email me the pictures we took
of the graphs from our biology lab
and then he asked me if i had skype
and i did so he added me
so we started chatting on skype
and got to know each other a little more
on saturday afternoon.
and on sunday evening
hey want to go to starbucks sometime?
WOAH MAN WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
i thought… i was just being… nice?
and keeping the… conversation going?!
i’m not ready for friendships with boys!
i’m not ready for relationships with boys!
i’m not ready for new relationships…
of any kind!
i was stupid, i panicked and i freaked out
and while trying to keep my cool uttered the words
cool sure 🙂
hold on a second, did i just
i haven’t asked my parents
i haven’t thought about it
hell, i don’t even know if i like him!
it’s not awkward
that’s a good start, i guess?
yeah i guess
wait, a good start to…
pause. i’m in control.
what can i say now?
friends first, yeah?
so i breathed a huge sigh of relief
and when my previously mentioned friend
i immediately pounced on her in panick.
and this is the summary of our talk:
he asked me out because
he likes me
but he likes me more than i like him
and with saying “friends first”
i pulled it back from “ask out”
to “hang out”
and that future details pend on
what i text him.
don’t i sound like such a
i’m sure none of you wanted to
come here and read about this
but i guess it’s just a sign
that i’m starting to be normal
at least it’s a sign
that i’m likeable enough
at least it’s a sign
that i’m considered interesting…
What should I do? Should I go “hang out” with him? I’m so scared it’ll be incredibly awkward. Oh, God. I need help. Maybe I should go with a friend? Am I forcing myself to be with people I don’t necessarily like (just… I don’t know, I just KNOW them, as acquaintances) just because nobody else wants to be with me? I’m so confused. I don’t need this right now!