i’m scared

In Uncategorized on April 30, 2010 at 2:16 am

i won’t talk about the binge just now.

let’s just say that it involved a lot of

peanut butter

sweet potatoes

and lack of control.

i don’t know how this is going to continue.

i think i had at least 4 tablespoons of peanut butter

and i definitely had 3 sweet potatoes.

and a sweet honey cake.

why is this happening to me?

i used to be so scared of losing control that i would just not eat.

am i turning into a binge eater?

i’ve binged daily for the past four days…


i’m so scared.


What are your thoughts on anorexic-turned-binge-eaters?

  1. I’ve been through that stage. From not eating (or eating like a mouse) for about 2 years, to eating like crazy and bingeing daily for another 2 years straight. Of course the purging came with the bingeing, but everything is more or less under control now with professional help.

    You can break the binge cycle, so long you eat what your body needs. If you body isn’t craving for more nutrients, you wont binge. So feed and treat your body well. Take care love. =)

    • Thanks, M! I’ve read about this sort of syndrome… apparently it’s akin to flipping a switch, literally. I’ve heard about some statistic that says that 50% of recovering anorexics turn into bulimics or binge eaters… that thought just scares me like hell.

      I don’t want to have a relapse… of anorexia or any other eating disorder. I just want to be normal and listen to my body! 😦

      Thanks for your kind wishes! 🙂


  2. Hey hun, sorry to hear that you’re going through some rough times. Your bingeing may be a result of your body crying out for all the things it has been deprived of when you were restricting. But if you don’t think that’s the case, then try ‘sitting it out’. That’s what I used to do during the refeeding process. After meals, I would make myself wait about a half hour to see if I’m still hungry and usually, the cravings would disappear and over time, the ‘sitting out’ period shortened.

    Also, it may be best to perhaps consult a dietitian or nutritionist who would be able to come up with a meal schedule for you to ensure that you have enough to gain weight but not to swing the other way if that’s something that worries you.

    All the best hun!

    Nat xoxo

    • Thanks Nattie… I really appreciate your kind words. 🙂

      The strange thing is, I’m actually very close to my goal weight. I’m only about 2 pounds shy of a healthy weight… but weirdly, this is the stage that I start to binge at?! I’ve been eating more nutritiously IMO (read: more food) ever since I’ve started trying to gain weight but binging never really happened like this, and it definitely never was on sugary foods! 😦

      I’m really not sure about the dietitian or nutritionist thing… I don’t know if I’ve said this on the blog before, but I really started recovery all by myself. I only have two doctors (the western one and the traditional Chinese one) and that’s for trying to get my period back, not to heal any of this mental stuff. I know it might be a good idea to really go see a doctor especially for healing ED, but I think that most of the time I’m dealing with it just fine… right? :S

      Thanks so much! 🙂


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