i’m sure most of us
have a “wishlist”
of things they’d like to own.
i didn’t used to.
i didn’t used to know what i wanted
out of life;
whether it was tangible,
or intangible wants.
i mean, sure, if you gave me a choice
i would choose,
but if you asked me,
“what would you like for your birthday?”
i don’t know.
i don’t want anything.
all i want is for you to be there with me!
well, let’s look at…
how my wants have changed.
i really didn’t know what i wanted.
maybe to lose a little weight
have whichever guy i liked like me back
the latest wii game (i wanted super smash bros.
very badly, but alas
the fake game didn’t work on my wii.
still doesn’t, by the way.)
and i was very insecure sometimes
and demanded attention.
y’see, i had a “perfect” best friend
whom i will be posting about in another post,
but long story short,
i always thought she was better than me
so i was alwaysjealous
i regret my actions now,
because she’s still my best friend
and has been so all the way through
so i guess one of my wishes would have been
to surpass her?
i thought that i didn’t get enough attention.
i thought that nobody would like me for who i was.
i thought that people were backstabbers and liars.
i thought that people stayed with me for their own advantage.
i thought that “friends” stayed with me because they “had to”
not because they enjoyed my company.
i thought i had no real friends.
how wrong i was.
i’ve mentioned this before, in my first post.
i threw away everything i was
and at the cost of my identity
pursued my long-time goal of being:
so i didn’t talk to anyone
i didn’t try to make friends
i was becoming exactly what i wanted to be:
a boring, skinny, study-freak/nerd.
needless to say
i wasn’t happy.
i have material wants now.
i guess that’s a little more normal.
behold, my current wishlist:
- panini grill
- food processor
- stationary bike
- dSLR camera
- greek yogurt
- sour patch kids
- dr marten combat boots (got them last weekend! JOY)
- almond butter
- any other kind of nut butter besides Skippy
- the ability to “let go” of counting calories
- more muscle mass
- access to a (affordable) gym
- (affordable) protein powders
- egg whites (in a carton)
- avocados (can you believe i’ve never tried them??)
- millet bread (see awesome reviews from Live Laugh Eat)
…that is all i can think of.
a pretty comprehensive list,
don’t you think?
What’s on your wishlist?