wish upon a wishing star…

In Uncategorized on May 7, 2010 at 7:25 pm

i’m sure most of us

have a “wishlist”

of things they’d like to own.

i didn’t used to.

i didn’t used to know what i wanted

out of life;

whether it was tangible,

or intangible wants.

i mean, sure, if you gave me a choice

i would choose,

but if you asked me,

“what would you like for your birthday?”

i don’t know.

i don’t want anything.

all i want is for you to be there with me!

well, let’s look at…

how my wants have changed.



and post



i really didn’t know what i wanted.

maybe to lose a little weight

have whichever guy i liked like me back

the latest wii game (i wanted super smash bros.

very badly, but alas

the fake game didn’t work on my wii.


still doesn’t, by the way.)

and i was very insecure sometimes

and demanded attention.

y’see, i had a “perfect” best friend

whom i will be posting about in another post,

but long story short,

i always thought she was better than me

in everything,

so i was alwaysjealous


and hurtful.

i regret my actions now,

because she’s still my best friend

and has been so all the way through


so i guess one of my wishes would have been

to surpass her?

i thought that i didn’t get enough attention.

i thought that nobody would like me for who i was.

i thought that people were backstabbers and liars.

i thought that people stayed with me for their own advantage.

i thought that “friends” stayed with me because they “had to”

not because they enjoyed my company.

i thought i had no real friends.

how wrong i was.



i’ve mentioned this before, in my first post.

i threw away everything i was

and at the cost of my identity

pursued my long-time goal of being:






so i didn’t talk to anyone

i didn’t try to make friends

i was becoming exactly what i wanted to be:

a boring, skinny, study-freak/nerd.

needless to say

i wasn’t happy.

and now…


i have material wants now.

i guess that’s a little more normal.

behold, my current wishlist:

  • panini grill
  • food processor
  • stationary bike
  • dSLR camera
  • greek yogurt
  • hummus
  • sour patch kids
  • dr marten combat boots (got them last weekend! JOY)
  • almond butter
  • any other kind of nut butter besides Skippy
  • the ability to “let go” of counting calories
  • more muscle mass
  • access to a (affordable) gym
  • (affordable) protein powders
  • egg whites (in a carton)
  • avocados (can you believe i’ve never tried them??)
  • millet bread (see awesome reviews from Live Laugh Eat)
  • flexibility

…that is all i can think of.

a pretty comprehensive list,

don’t you think?


What’s on your wishlist?

  1. Ahhh!! I just left a message and then… this page went blank and the message is gone. =((( Ah well.. As I was saying, I have a couple of material wishes like a DSLR and an iMac but I’m not hankering badly after them. At the moment, I’d like to simply lead a balanced life, to be happy and healthy and have my family and loved ones be happy and healthy too! Ooh.. And I’d love to travel and see as much of the world as possible while I can. Definitely do not want to be spending my time after I graduate chained to a desk! Lol.

    I’m glad you’re living and creating wishlists! I’d love to see you crossing more things off of them and adding new ones to the list as the year progresses!

    Much love,
    Nat xoxo

    • Oh, I’m sorry… I was changing the url! If you didn’t notice, it used to read like this:


      Haha because I accidentally typed panin into the subject box, so that reflected it in the url, so I had to change it. Sorry!

      I’d love to travel too! It’d be awesome to experience more of the world, and hopefully more of myself along the way! I like creating lists like these; they give me a sense of direction. I’ll definitely be saving this and adding to it! 😀


  2. Ooh! Doc Marten boots! I bought a pair last year but I’m still trying to figure out how to wear them. With a dress? Skinny jeans? Do you have any good ideas? What color is your pair?

    By the way, you can make your own paninis by putting your sandwich in a pan, then putting your sandwich in, then putting another heavy pan on top of that. I’ve been doing that with my cast iron pan and it works beautifully. You don’t get those nice grill marks, but the effect is almost the same.

    I actually have two super-ripe avocados here that I don’t really know what to do with; I made avocado parathas but other than guacamole or a dip, I’m stuck. I wish I could magically send them over to you to try!

    And I wonder if I could send almond butter in the mail? I remember the United States Postal Service has this thing against sending liquids in the mail, but I’m not sure if almond butter counts as a liquid? I make a mean almond butter using my blendtec! Let me know if you’re interested 🙂

    • Hahaha I’m rather greedy; I actually ALREADY owned a pair of Docs, just they were pink and didn’t serve the all-purpose purpose-ness of black ones. I got a pair of black high ones (to the knee) and a pair of white ones (to mid-calf), and they were both dirt cheap. Because they were fake 😛 (I think the more expensive one was about 230 RMB… about $33. ….woah.)

      Yeah, I’ve seen tutorials for that! It’s so cool haha but I’m all about the grill marks 😉

      Apparently there’s an “avocado lady” here in Shanghai who stocks all this sort of stuff that only “foreigners” eat; avocados, herbs, arugula, mozzarella, wines, chickpeas… stuff like that! I’m dying to go to her shop someday 😀

      Can you make almond butter using the Blendtec, too? I’m just about out of peanut butter and we just so happen to have about half a carton of Planter’s peanuts that nobody wants to eat (it used to be mixed nuts but I think i picked out everything else :P), so I guess… maybe I could make it into homemade peanut butter?! They’re already salt added, so I can foresee a pretty salty peanut butter future ahead… Mmm! 😀


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